So You're a Parent...Now What?

Parents, especially mothers, have a tendency to care for everyone around them--except for themselves. It's easy to get wrapped up in making lunches, driving kids around, acting as your spouse's "therapist," and volunteering at church or other organizations. But what about YOU? If you're not used to caring for yourself, it might feel selfish at first to take time to do what you  need. But in reality, it's not optional; caring for yourself is the first step to caring for everyone else.   "Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak." - Elder Marion G. Romney   Sure, you could push th...

          How many times have you bribed your kids in a moment of desperation? "If you will just be quiet so I can finish this phone call, I'll let you have some ice cream." Harmless, right? A foolproof way to get your kids to behave when everything else has failed and you just  need them to be quiet or finish their homework? Not so fast. Why Bribes Don't Work Bribes teach children that misbehavior leads to rewards Bribes are a short-term solution that create long-term problems. According to parent educator Hiam Ginott, "bribes seldom, if ever, inspire continued efforts." Bribing a child might get them to behave now,  but what about tomorrow? Next week? When they're grown and off at college? When you offer "rewards" for stopping bad behavior, what you're actually doing is training your child to misbehave in order to get rewards. They'll learn that if they want something, all they have to do is misbehave, and then they'll get it.  Br...

How Would You Feel? You get home after a long day of work and you just need to vent to your spouse. You tell him/her about your annoying coworker, the impossible deadlines that are looming over your head, and on top of all of that, you had an hour long commute home through traffic. And your spouse responds, "So, what? That's not a big deal. You're fine." Wouldn't you just about blow up? Yeah, me too. Now, imagine how your child feels when she's crying because she fell off her bike, and you say "you're fine. You're not even bleeding. Hurry up and come inside for dinner." While falling off a bike might not seem like a big deal to you, but it might be for your kid. Just like you want your spouse to sympathize with you and validate your feelings, your child needs the same thing from you.  Emotion Coaching Emotion coaching is a strategy which, when implemented, helps children learn to recognize and manage their emotions. It's an excellent way ...